Black Women: Who got us?

It’s been four months, and I’ve done a lot of soul searching.

Looking back at my love life, which consists of a plethora of unlearned lessons and long cries, I’ve found one factor to ring true continuously.

I’ve always had my mans back. When the world was against him, I was right by his side. I used to think I wasn’t doing enough because I could never make them stay.

Even when no effort was shown on his part, I broke my back trying to entertain his needs.

The black woman has been spat on, trampled and misused, however, the world still doesn’t understand why we’re so angry. It’s tiring loving without being loved, expecting to hold without being held.

My question is who got us?

Often, we’re our own enemy. The competition among black women seems unreal at times. Instead of appreciating and acknowledging the fact that your fellow women are dripping in black girl magic, there’s silence.

However, no matter how many compliments you hand out, that’s not making anyone fall heads over heels for you. So my question remains.

Who got us?


What I’ve found astonishing is this phrase: “White women are evolving.”

This sentence is usually accompanied by an image of a white woman with wide hips, the epitome of a coke bottle shape; the epitome of the black woman.

This phrase bothers me, not because white women are “trying to  be us” (a loose translation, but we can all come to a consensus on it’s overall depiction I’m sure), but because so many black men use this as an excuse to tear down the black woman. They use things like this to, in a sense, make us “get our act together.” Like they are the king of all kings and we must do nothing less than bow down at their feet.

My king you are mistaken.

During this four month revelation, I have also come across a few men that understand where I’m coming from. So, I’m not saying all of this to counter-destroy the black man. That’s not my goal at all. My goal is to shed light on the issue.

You were born to black mothers, with black sisters, and black grandmothers. Black aunts holding up your black uncles; Black cousins throwing dirt in your face, and stomping a mud hole in anyone who dares to call you four eyes (because only she can do it and get away with it).

So I’ll ask again: who got us?

Maybe I’ll have an answer in another four months.



Nipples: Concealed Weapons?

Boobs. Ta-ta’s. Breasts. Fun bags.

We all know them and love them, right? But why are we so afraid of them? It seems to me that the most threatening factor isn’t the fatty tissue as a whole. It’s the nipple. The smallest aspect of this glorious, well praised body part scares the life out of us. However, that seems to only be the case with women.

“I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my–“


Women’s bodies are so sexualized that even the most mundane parts are considered scandalous; even the parts we share with men. Biologically though, female breasts are composed of a specialized tissue that produces milk, according to WebMD, as well as fatty tissue.

The specialized tissue is referred to as lobes, which are broken into several other parts called lobules. These lobules connect to ducts that essentially lead the breast milk out the nipple tissue. The size varies based upon the amount of fat, however, the connective tissue is what helps the breast have its form. The connective tissue, as well as the ligaments, help to support the breast.

This means that bras aren’t the only thing supporting your chest, ladies. Wearing bras can actually cause your connective tissue and ligaments to “atrophy and weaken“, making your natural support system fail even faster over time. Sexualization is an issue, but not the only culprit of our nip-phobia.

“Location, Location, Location”


Being raised in a pretty much conservative town has taught me that public opinion is king. What would a nice wholesome girl from Western North Carolina even do without a bra in public?

She’d have to walk around with her arms crossed, hoping the neighbor boy doesn’t see her “Christmas gifts” as she reaches for the grapes.

College changed my life for the better. Though my university was only 45 minutes away from my house, it gave me a chance to see the world from a place further than my small town church pews. I was able to experience freedom.

“Does your chain hang low? Does it wobble to the floor? Can you throw it over–wait what?”


When we get old, so does our body. Our joints get weaker and so do our breast ligaments. We’ve all heard the gimmick: “Do this and your breast won’t sag..” But the truth is, it’s going to happen anyway.

You can’t stop time (If you can, please tell me you trick). It’s like saying that the anti-wrinkle cream will have you looking like J-Lo at 60 (J-Lo won’t be 60, you will). It will slow the process, but it won’t stop it.

There is also a myth that suggests that not wearing bras will result in faster sagging, however, in this article, it shows that there is an increase in perkiness for the women who go braless. However if you attempt to prevent sagging (slow the process rather), going braless will probably be your best choice.

“Oh my God, Becky. Look at her–“


Women talk more than men. That’s a fact. We are more social. Being more social comes with a few pros and cons.

Pro: We have friends                 Con: We talk shit about people with our friends.

We care about what people say, and sometimes we don’t have enough courage to just live our lives. It’s OK. That’s natural. But now is the time to forget the status quo and just go for it. Your boobs will thank you.

As women, we should be able to walk past another woman not wearing a bra and go on about our day, but that’s not the case. Our eyes tend to shun the nipple. Many of us feel shame when the outline of our nipples poke through our tank top after entering a cold room. Some can’t say the word without turning rosy pink and giggling.


Be bold, and never be afraid to capture your own freedom.

Whether you are embarking on your new journey to free your chest, or if you would much rather stick to your polka-dotted and lacy bras, it is important to maintain good health.

You can simply perform a self-examination once a month. Self-examinations are efficient but it won’t give you all the answers.

It is suggested that you go to your gynecologist for an annual clinical exam, as well as (if you are 40 years+ or in a high-risk group) a mammogram every one to two years.

For more information please visit, and check with your doctor regularly.

The Opener

What’s up guys? My name is Ghia and—–

What is the first blog post assumed to be about? It’s an opener to the rest of your writing, of course. But how does that translate without being too cliche? “Hello all! my name is–” just doesn’t seem to pull me in. Sure, my name is important, but knowing that doesn’t make my writing any more or any less inventive. Though, one could argue that knowing you’re eating Jiffy peanut butter could make the experience of peanut butter a little better, if that was your preferred brand. Then again, I’d have to be your favorite brand in order for that example to apply. Do people usually ramble in the first post? I mean, how could they not? The main purpose of this post is to facilitate conversation. What do you guys want to talk about? Comment your topics below. I don’t want this experience to only consist of me talking to an invisible audience. I want to build relationships and create discussion. Let’s build together.